“This is where it all begins. Everything starts here, today.” –David Nicholls.
Today is the first day in the new year 2020, and it is also the first day of the rest of our lives. We’ve gone through whatever we’ve gone through — the good bad and ugly and everything in between to get to this moment. For me it became clear that 2019 was going to be the most difficult year ever by the summer and since then I’ve been willing that year to pass me by. And it has, as we all know the passage of time is relentless and unstoppable. For the young, time seems to drag by and for those of us who have seen more than a few years, time zooms by. I once read that when we’re young time seems to go by slower because we pay more attention to everything. we’re experiencing life for the first time and are amazed and delighted by all the wonderful occasions in life. Birthdays, Christmas, the beginning of the school year, the end of the school year and on and on! I think of those times in my life and I smile because indeed they were special. Then, as we grow older these significant moments in our lives become just another day.
Life roughs us up, we grow cynical and caught up in trying to get ahead and before we know it, we’re old and find ourselves trying to understand where all the “good years” of our lives have gone!
As I think of the new year 2020, I acknowledge that time is a mystery that I’ll never truly comprehend and I’ve accepted that. As I begin my second decade on Texas death row having learned so many of life’s most important lessons, I once again renew my vow to give my best effort in all I do, in every day of this new year. This effort will change from day to day and week to week but by giving my best effort, I will remove any possible regret where I wished I would have done more and I’ll also slow time down, living life to the fullest. This includes making sure I take time to experience and acknowledge the special moments in life, no matter how big or small the blessing may be — expressing appreciation and gratitude for them all.
“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition, there is no possessiveness, or control. The more love you give away the more love you will have”–John O’ Donohue.
One of the biggest blessings I have in my life is love. The love that others give me and the love that I give in return. Love is one of the most awesome and powerful forces in the Universe and through it mighty miracles are manifested in our reality. Love is an essential ingredient in nearly everything we do as is salt to food. without salt food loses flavor.
You may stand up and fight against the death penalty, against injustice but without love it is only legalism. Faith without love is ideology, hope without love is self-centredness, forgiveness without love is meaningless. Courage without love is recklessness and generosity without love is extravagance. In this manner love is in all that we do and why, without love we are nothing. It is why this year 2020, I vow to focus on love and spreading it wherever I go, in whatever I do to whoever I encounter giving myself to selfless service because love is a verb – it’s a word of action. In this regard I intend to walk the walk and talk the talk of love. Will it be easy? I doubt it but anything worth doing will always be difficult. So, along with focusing on love I will also surrender in faith. This is simply accepting what IS, rather than struggling against reality. It’s letting go of the past and trusting the Universe to provide what I need in the future. Having 100% confidence that all shall be well from here on out.
“A christian should be able to go to the White House, their momma’s house, a crack house or any house and come out with their integrity, vision, compassion, and commitment to justice intact. If the Kingdom of God is within you, then wherever you go you should leave a little bit of heaven behind. People will know you a as heaven leaver. You can learn to love your crooked neighbor with your own crooked little heart because you’re connected to a power and grace greater than your ego.”
–Dr. Cornel west.
Have you taken time to ask yourself recently, What do you believe in? What do you have faith in? Or how you are showing what you believe in and what you have faith in towards others? I believe in love and that in the end all that matters is that we are loved and allowed to love in return.
Because I promise you on your last day of your life you will not care how much money you have in the bank or how many followers you have on Instagram. You will care about who is by your side till the end and who you spent time with sharing your life with as well. Often times it’s not easy to love others or easy for others to love you. You might be going through very difficult times and we’re not able to sit and attend to your pain nice and neatly. When it’s like that your pain is passed on to those who are closest to you and who you hold dearest. I know, I speak from personal experience, which reminds me again that I am flawed and make mistakes — but when I love, I love absolutely. In this manner I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum – I’ve been the kind of person that is difficult to love and I have also loved someone who was difficult to love. But that’s part of being human,of this thing we call life.
After experiencing these ups and downs, this year 2020, I vow to leave as much love as I can wherever I go. No matter how difficult others might make it, that’s what I seek to achieve. Because I know that love is part of every aspect of our lives and through love I’ll be able to reach my every goal. So even when love is demanding and puts me under pressure and challenges me to be my best self, I am willing. When others might quit, I will continue never giving up on love! Because life has taught me love just feels wonderful and amazing, love also hurts. Love has a way of pushing us out of our comfort zone and testing the mettle from which we are made of, holding up a mirror to show us who we are and what we’re about. It also shows us that’s what it means and looks like to be a good person, a good friend, a good partner. So in the year 2020, I commit myself to being a heaven leaver and in the process I’ll get to where this journey called life is taking me. I will not master my life in a day but if I take a deep breath relax and keep focusing on mastering today I will arrive to my final destination in full effect! How about you? Are you willing to commit to such thing? I Hope you are and in the process make this new year like no other and the beginning of the rest of your life!
LOVE PEACE HOPE & LAUGHTER!
Charles D. Flores No:999299
Texas death row.