Journal from 26th to 30th March 2020

Thursday March 26th 2020

Song : “What I love about Sunday” by Craig Morgan


I had to seek the physician because of the pain this world caused me.

I could not believe what happened when I got there: I found my teacher.

Before I left, he said: “up for a little homework, yet?”

“Okay” I replied.

“well then, try thanking all the people who have caused you pain. They helped you come to me.”


I first read this poem in Bo Lozoff’s newsletter some 20 years ago and it took my breath away. It was the first time I had ever been able to think about the suffering I was going through was for a reason and was leading me somewhere. What is your pain that the world has been or is causing you? I cannot imagine you are not feeling some kind of pain as one quarter of the world’s population is on lockdown right now. Coronavirus burns through the world as we sit here, you there, me here and I still insist we’re all going through what we’re going to get to where we are going.

Saturday March 28th 2020

Song: “Chickenfried” by Zac Brown Band

Evening time and here I am listening to “The country gold show with Rowdy Yates” and drinking coffee. It’s cool, today has been raining off and on, and I am grateful for that. Recreation is done with for the day and it has quieted down for the rest of the night. When you live in a mad house of constant noise, silence is bliss. Today is the first day of the “stay-at-home” order in Polk county, Texas, where Livingston is at. They said it was for 2 weeks, but I do believe it will be extended. I think in two weeks the Covi19 fire will be raging in the USA and social distancing will be mandatory.

Meanwhile, it’s business as usual at Polunsky Unit and on Texas death row. It is telling. No one is sick right now. Usually, half these nasty guards are sick with cold or fly, but none of them are ill! Nor is any of the prisoners in my living area. It’s like the plan is to keep the prison operating like normal. I hope it does not make it through, but what will happen when someone tests positive for coronavirus? We shall see. While we wait on this to come to pass, we live our day to day life and in some places, some people’s lives get very difficult. And as this occurs focus on making it through each step, as you walk as you walk, as well as you can, through the fire!

Sunday March 29th 2020

Song: “Long haired country boy” by Charlie Daniels’ band


Admit something: Everyone you see, you say to them “love me”.

Of course you do not say it out loud, otherwise someone would call the cops. Still though, think about this: the great pull to connect.

Why not become the one who lives with a full moon in each eyes that is always saying with that sweet moon language what every other eye in this world is dying to hear?


Have you noticed that in difficult times like these you have a desire to be with loved ones? Or you have a yearning to try and reach out to someone you have had a falling out with? How life and death struggles remind you of how small and insignificant our arguments with each other are? How fragile life is and how there is no time to waste. We need to communicate with that moon language. Life is precious and wonderful, and painful, and difficult, and amazing, all at once.

Monday March 30th 2020

Song: “Imagine” by John Lennon

“There’s always going to be bad stuff out there. But here’s the amazing thing: light trumps darkness every time. You can stick a candle into the dark, but you cannot stick the dark into the light”. Jodi Picoult

I’ve been busy writing all day today and also managing to feed my soul with good radio programs and better spiritual texts. I feel good because I have managed to write another essay and I hope it will be useful to someone who is struggling through this difficult moment in time. It’s hard for me to know or decide when it is time to stop writing about the biggest event in our lives, we are all experiencing it together. I work on whatever task at hand in my life and for a while I get away from it and then the news is reported and there we go again. I think I need to stay informed but do not want to overwhelm others who are trying to get away from the madness.

I am very grateful that the cool air has been turned on here. I am not burning up in my cell and actually I am cool. It’s early in the morning and I am finishing up with this writing, thinking about the song “Imagine”. It’s one of my favorites, and an amazing thing we see is the world is coming together as one. Just as John Lennon imagined so long ago. In that regard, life is beautiful.