Journal December_ 2 (Continued)

Friday 13th December 2019 at 9,30 pm

song: “What you give” by TESLA

“Home is not where you are from, it’s where you find light when all grows dark”_ Pierce Brown.

It’s been a minute since I sat to write my thoughts. The lockdown and pending shakedown and all that. Yesterday the devils conducted them cell search on me and I survived with everything intact. No big deal, and I am very grateful for that. By 10 pm yesterday I was back in my cell sorting through the pile of belongings that was on the floor. Spent yesterday and today cleaning my living area because those devils are filthy, half are sick with cold or flu or who knows what else. I now have everything back in order and in its place which makes me feel good. I am happy to say we are getting hot meals now, which is much better than the sack-lunch meals of a bologna sandwich, peanut butter sandwich and maybe 3 prunes! Remember, we must be grateful for all our blessings. The big one is again I do not have to worry another shakedown until mid-March 2020. That always feels good and something I am grateful for. Now I am back to my “Christmas vacation”. I have been delighted with the unexpected surprise of ACAT (Action by Christians against Torture) supporters from the UK sending me Christmas cards with lovely messages of hope and support. This is my view the universe is conspiring to surprise and delight me with these wonderful rays of sunlight that penetrate the darkness which is Texas death row. And it’s in these moments I am reminded of where home is! Home is where you get love from. I’m grateful for these wonderful reminders I am getting this Christmas!

Saturday 14th December 2019 at 8 pm

song: “Rambling man” by Bob Seger.

“I might have been given a bad break, but I got a lot to live for”_ Lou Gehrig

Last night I was pleased to receive a book from my lovely friend Helen, for Christmas. A book I had requested some time ago, and was thinking she could not find a suitable copy to send me. Sometimes, that happens and it’s cool. There are plenty of books in the world to choose to choose from. So it was great to get “The house of broken angels” by Luis Alberto Urrea, professor at the University of Chicago_ Illinois. I hear Urrea on a NPR Program “On being with Krista Tippet” and he is an amazing author. He is half Mexican and half white American, who grew up in San Diego and in Tijuana Mexico, just across the border. I love this book. It tells a story that anybody who come from a Mexican-American family will identify with. Anyone who is interested in what that might be like, growing up as a member of “La Raza Cosmica” should read this book. You’ll get a glimpse. I am very grateful for such a great gift from my friend, to enjoy this special holiday. Because in one way or another I think that most of us have experienced a “bad break”_ that’s called life! But I for one have a lot to live for and more importantly to be grateful for. Good health, true friends, hope for a better future and belief that one day soon I will push through into the other side where freedom is. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me though, just when I am at my best I remember my friend and brother Travis Rummels was executed last Thursday. Rest in peace, P.G. I love ya and I think of you.

Sunday 15th December 2019 at 9 pm.

Song: “You learn” by Alanis MORISETTE

“Get up and be aware, and live in the world of wonders we have”. Robert McFarland

Today is hot and humid in Texas. Friends write and tell me it is snowy and cold where they are and I wish I had that instead of 80° F temps (26,6 ° Celsius) in December. When it is not cold, it does not feel like Christmas time to me. It just doesn’t. I remember as a young we person we had four seasons in Texas but not anymore, and when you are locked in a cell, that can be difficult. We have one pod left on Texas death row now to be shaken down and then it’s over. This is when it’s great to have been shaken down and have it out of the way. So maybe tomorrow they will do the last pod and we can get commissary. It’s been 32 days since we last went. I try not to think about that kind of thing because it only serves to upset me. But I think of that and remind myself to put up resistance is non-acceptance of what is and creates more suffering. Better to take deep breaths. One thing I am grateful for is American football. I have listened to games all day and in this manner taken my mind out of Texas death row, and went to the football stadium and enjoyed the games instead. I also made a large heart/nose photo collage while listening, so I am happy about that. Sometimes you have to get creative in how you get up and out and enjoy the wonderful world! Like getting out through a little AM/FM radio set. I have been doing it for 20 years now.

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