“In the end, your life will be measured not by what you have. It will be measured by the fruit you bear and the life you live. It will be measured by the kind of love you really have.”
-—Dr. Bornel west.
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be overwhelmed with a pessimistic point of view always seeing the glass “half-empty”, as you go through you day to day existence? How getting caught up in a negative, cynical outlook on life is so casual? I have and let me tell you that when you’re on Texas death row it’s a thousand times “easier” to live life this way.
I think back to 1999, when I was sentenced to death and how the negative energy was one of the first things that I was aware of and right away I knew that it was critical for anyone who hoped to survive this experience not be consumed by it. I am unable to explain how I was able to realize this upon entering this death camp but I knew it was an absolute truth and remains so to this day. The past year in my life has been a very difficult one for me. The Universe has asked much of me and the latest and greatest obstacle that I’ve been asked to overcome – the passing of my mother. has been troublesome to say the least. As I sit in my cell today and take stock of the situation it boils down to the following: I am a victim of an injustice who’s been sent to Texas death row for a crime I did not commit. I’m also an orphan having just lost my mother in February 2019, and my father in 2016; and I continue to face the great unknown in what might occur in my legal situation that still pending in the appeal court.
And one thing that I’ve realized in having to deal with such adversity is that if you are not careful, what you have lost in life can define you. It can consume you and that deadly negative energy can suck the life out of you. Please believe me when I say that I know what I’m talking about in that regard. when you are “stuck” on the issue of all that you’ve lost it’s as if your mind has been programmed to remember all that is gone. So whenever you hear a certain song, or when one thought leads to another that leads to another which reminds you of your great loss thereby causing despair to set in which is crippling. This is just one way in which men lose their mind in solitary confinement and why some are driven to take their own life trying to escape the terrible negative cycle that is focusing and being defined by all that you have lost.
Having learned this life lesson it is much healthier and positive for me to focus on what I still have and if I have anything in life it is love. In the past month so many friends and supporters Have sent me kind thoughts and words of compassion expressing their sympathy because I’ve lost my mother, and this amazing love is what has sustained me during this most difficult time in my life. and I am overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for all the love and support everyone has shown me. I am very rich in love and I hope it shows! Because this love is what continues to allow me to be my usual happy, laughing and loving self something I could not do without love.
Which brings me to the special quote I began with. In the end when it is time to transition from this life into the next we will not be measured by how much money we have in the bank, or what kind of car we drive, or by the designer labels on our clothes. Those things are fine but they are not the measuring “stick” that will be used. We shall be measured by the fruit we have born and the life we have lived. And most importantly we will be measured by the kind of love we really have because that’s what truly matters. I think of all of this as I live my life on Texas death row going on twenty one years now and there is a lot that I’ve gotten wrong in my life. There are plenty of mistakes I can fault myself for and at times struggle to not let that overwhelm me. But one thing I can say is that I am very blessed with the abundance of love I have in my life. I may be an innocent man on Texas death row, but I’m rich in love. I may be an orphan who has lost both parents, but I’m not abandoned because I’m rich in love.
I may face a great unknown in my future with my appeals which can be scary, but I’m rich in love! And at the end of the day that is all that matters. Only love can free you and see you through into the next phase of your life. And for this I thank all my friends and family who care for me.
For I am nothing without your love compassion and support and could not have continued my fight for life and freedom without you. Nor could I have survived the latest loss I’ve experience without you by my side and for this and everything else I’m forever grateful and please know that I love you too!
LOVE PEACE HOPE & LAUGHTER TOO!
Charles D. Flores No:999299