By: Charles D Flores, #999299
Monday, May 29, 2017
I have a brother here named Big G and not too long after I won the stay of execution and evidentiary hearing I was blessed to be moved to a cell near Big G which gave me a confidant I could talk to. Now G is a special guy he is on his own spiritual journey which has a Buddhist flavor and is very mature, insightful, and I value his option and advice. One day we had an opportunity to have outside rec together and this means we’re put outside on the 2 recreation yards that are side by side and can have a private conversation. While enjoying this rec time together I expressed to my brother that it seemed like an unusual number of small things in my life were going wrong. Nothing big or life altering, just a bunch of small annoying stuff that makes life a little harder (and sometimes a lot harder) than it should be. Big G’s immediate response was, “That’s because you’re getting ready to go home! When a miracle like that is happening in your life all kinds of small stuff goes wrong and that’s the enemy trying to knock you off course.” My brother told me this about 8-9 months ago and when he said it I heard the ring of absolute truth in his words. He was correct in every way and I’ve kept that truth with me since then.
I’m about 90 days away from the chance of a lifetime that is my evidentiary hearing. For the past month my life has been completely centered around this event because I must give my absolute best effort in making this opportunity count. I’m not going to get 10-15 evidentiary hearings. No, I’m getting one and in this evidentiary hearing I must lay it all on the line and make sure I give my 100% best effort, then trust The Universe to see to manifesting part II of the miracle that is winning my freedom. During this intense period of my life my mantra has been, “let nothing or no one distract you from your purpose and goal!” This is what I keep telling myself but it’s not easy!!
In the past 30 days I’ve experienced more than a few unpleasant surprises in my life. Nothing that spells the end of me (I don’t think!), but still a bunch of drama that I do not want or need. And during those occurrences I keep telling myself to let nothing or no one distract you from your true purpose and goal in life!
I know that when thins get like this in life I must go within myself and once again find my balance and center and I do this with my spiritual practice. When I tend to my spiritual practice (Prayer Meditation Visualization) I find absolute truths that I forget when I allow myself to be caught up in the drama, distractions, and unpleasant surprises that come my way.
I am one with the infinite Source and the Source is one with me. This morning I once again found this truth that I am connected to the Source and the Source connects me to all living things. I was so grateful to be able to find this absolute truth once more and be remembered of it when I needed it the most. This was an “Aaaaah” moment for me and when I allowed myself to merge back with the Source I felt my balance and center lock back in place.
When I’m dealing with these annoying issues that have gone wrong I all too often see myself as separate from the Source because it is second nature to me and a very bad habit to take such things personally and in the process allow ego to hijack my person. Ego is always waiting for me to falter and when I’m under stress it makes its move, whispering in my ear, “They did that to you? Who in the hell do they think they are?!!!” And with this great like makes me believe that I’m separate from the Source. Because no one knows us better than our ego, it has been with us since the day we became conscious of right from wrong.
This morning I remembered this great truth that we all come from the same Source and to be clear the Source has more than one name. It’s also knows as God, Universe, the Word, the Holy Spirit, etc. The key is setting ourselves connected to all living things, people, trees, and animals. If I can see myself in everyone than I am connected.
Of course this is much easier said than done. When I find myself facing others who have declared themselves my enemies and wish ill will, even execution, upon me, it’s very difficult. But that’s my goal and living life in gratitude gets me closer to it. As does “thinking from the end, ” which is through visualization seeing myself surrounded by the people and things I need in my life as a free man; and meditation and prayer.
For me that is the antidote to my ego’s evil plans. More meditation means less wgo and that’s something I could really use.
These many attaches from the enemy are proof that I’m close. He is concerned that I will reach my ultimate goal, and he ought to be! Nothing will stop me from pushing into freedom and part II of my life forever free and far away from here.
Love, Peace, Hope & Freedom
Charles D Flores