Journal entries – July 8-12th, 2020

July 8, 2020 (« We gotta get out of here » by The Animals)

“Everything is going to be alright”

How should I not be glad to contemplate

The clouds beyond the dormer window

And a high tide reflected on the ceiling

There will be dying there will be dying

But there is no need to go into that

The poems flow from the hand unbidden

And the hidden source is the watchful heart

The sun rises in spite of everything

And the far cities are beautiful and bright

I lie here in a riot of sunlight

Watching the day break and the clouds flying

Everything is going to be alright

Derek Mahon

Today, Billy Wardlow was executed. Much is said about all the guys on death row but I’ll say this. None of us are the worst thing we have ever done. Innocent or guilty we are not the worst thing we have done in life. Are you?

Rest in peace and power Billy Joe Wardlow. You were the best of the best around this death camp. I’ll miss you brother.

July 10, 2020 (“Heavy metal” by Sammy Hagar)

“The depth of your struggle will determine the height of your success” Unknown

I had an attorney phone call today and while I was in the visitation room waiting for the appointed hour, I got to talking to someone out there. I learned that Willy Wardlow’s last wishes were for Dani to video the entire process of what these devils do with the murdered person’s body after they’ve achieved their evil deed. And I was with that 100%.

The reason why I want everybody in the USA and the world to SEE this unholy act – they murder you then put you in the Good Lord’s Church – is because they need to know what is being done in their name. I never want another legal revenge murder that is carried out to be nice and neat again. What is being done in the name of every citizen of this country needs to be brought to light. You need to witness your murderous government in action every time it happens.

This is why Billy Wardlow’s last request was to have this sacrilegious spectacle video recorded and posted so the whole world would see. He used this murder to shed light on what is happening to us – Texas Death row prisoners.

Times are changing, whether these devils like it or not, and I am part of that change.

July 11, 2020 (“I don’t know why” by Angela Streeny)

“We are all tramps, just some of us see stars” Oscar Wilde

Sometimes this building gets so quiet I can hear the metal doors opening and closing on the other side of the pod. When we’re on lockdown, it’s quiet like this and I enjoy it. Much better than mindless noise.

Today a different trio of CO’s (Correctional officers) worked in our pod and one guy has been on 11 building where general population prisoners are locked up temporarily. He said there are 13 prisoners over there with Covid-19. Very sick, fever, coughing, trouble breathing – all of that. Without a doubt it is here. This is a reality check for one like me sitting in this cage seeing nothing but these walls for months and years on end.

Then yesterday the CO working in the evening – 2nd shift said new positive cases of Covid-19 were found in GP. The 14 days began anew then. Each time we have a positive test result, we start the 14 day quarantine period anew.

More importantly these idiots brought Covid-19 in and now the situation intensifies. So far so good for me in my cage next week we’ll be allowed to buy correspondence and hygiene items from commissary. I’m grateful, I need postage.

The mantra is “Focused, fortified and forward marching” no matter what. Gotta make it out of this place.

July 12, 2020 (“3 lock-box” by Sammy Hagar)

“A winner is a dreamer who never gives up” – Nelson Mandela

Another Sunday evening and I think about the situation we now find ourselves in on Polunsky Unit. This is a very large prison, 2,200+ persons are confined here. The vast majority is general population (GP) as Texas death row is about 190 prisoners on 12 building. For the past 2-3 weeks we have consistently had positive Covid-19 test results among the CO’s that come and go on a daily basis. 2 weeks ago they did not have enough COs to run DR recreation but 2 days. This past Monday we were told that the staff shortage is so bad they were putting the entire unit on medical lockdown for 14 days.

Then we hear the guards who work in the GP kitchen were all on quarantine. They were positive with Covid 19. And they infected the prisoner kitchen workers. Now these prisoners are sick, very sick. More and more GP prisoners are coming down sick and it is very serious. These guys are living on top of each other and are on quarantine but can’t social distance. So what do they do? And these are the prisoners who come back and do the slave labor in TDCJ, cleaning and physical labor, while a CO “supervises” them. So now we have 2 possible Covid-19 infection dangers. The COs who come and go and the GP prisoners who got infected by guards in GP because they work with COs. Not sure what will happen but the goal is to stay safe and healthy!